Whenever conflicts arise between human beings , they are usually not resolved in a meeting . A minimum of five and a maximum of twenty one meetings are required for this. We should try that if we have one problem , we should not create another problem . But it usually happens that the person thinks that he will create a problem only then that problem will be solved. And then the second problem becomes the ‘main problem’ i.e. the main problem and what was the original problem becomes problem number 2 .
And this turn is coming because we don’t act with courage and we don’t talk. We are already emotionally exhausted and we cannot invite further mood swings . Another important thing that we tend to forget is feeling . That is, the issue which we discuss in anger , then it is necessary that we discuss it in an atmosphere of love . For example, if we cannot discuss a problem logically with love , then we should not discuss it with anger at all .
Man should come to communicate . Just because you know how to speak doesn’t mean that you can communicate. No matter how many people in the world are respected and in high positions , you will definitely see one thing in them that they know how to communicate well. Humans act selfishly to solve problems , so that my problem is solved and everyone else does what they want , I don’t care. But we must adopt the habit of effective personalities win-win.
A win-win habit is that I win and you win. The win-lose is that I win and you lose and keep harboring resentment in your mind . Lose-win is when I say well, I lose, you win. Out of all these win-win seems to be the perfect and best habit in which there is no harm to anyone.
A very important question that everyone should ask themselves is is it necessary to solve one problem to create another problem?
The answer to which is apparently no, but we prove it logically. Whenever there are conflicts between human beings , they can be resolved through dialogue , because they can communicate. And whenever there is a conflict between family members , it is better to resolve it on the same day, otherwise the complication increases, or at least resolve it after a nap and try to make the meeting 45 minutes . Because if the problem is still not solved after 45 minutes , leave it for the next meeting because it will not be solved that day but may get worse.
The ups and downs of relationships between human beings are seen, and sometimes there is no reason for the relationship to be bad . But even by living with each other constantly, people get bored , and small quarrels come together and lead to fights. Because the thing that a person enjoys and if that thing is continuously met, it starts to get boring. For example, if someone likes eating mutton very much and he starts eating mutton daily , he will start feeling bad and will want to eat dal.
If the children take care of their parents wishes and respect them , then the problems will never get worse, similarly, if the husband and wife respect each other and take care of each other’s wishes, life is quite peaceful and conflicts are less..But on the contrary, in the olden times, since things were scarce, there were more riots because of who would get it.
Sometimes we have this in our minds that if we create a bang to solve a problem then it will be solved, like if we stage a dharna etc. to solve a problem then it will be solved. gap, or solving the problem by going on a hunger strike, solving the problem by threatening to leave the house, when Begum talks about going to Mecca, she also means solving the problem, and sometimes the problem is solved in such ways. Goes but beyond that results None come out particularly well. Since the human mind is very interesting and very fast, solving the problem is very important for it. Now solutions can also be found directly i.e. inventions like finding a solution without creating a problem, then these solutions are found and they are found in direct ways. Some people solve the problem in a backward way that creates a problem for the one who is supposed to solve the problem, like in the olden days, when the princesses had to ask their father for something , they would fall into atwanti khutwanti, i.e, break down. Sleeping on a cot , or not eating or drinking, just like today’s kids grow up and won’t eat for half a day, lock themselves in a room, wear a tired expression on their face and get more anxious when they hear someone yelling will be.
If you ever have such a tragedy that something is taken away from you at gun point , you will be very worried, then it will not come out that no matter how good you are, you are worried for the first 40 days. And you have to struggle to get out of this grief . It is not because you had a lot of money in your wallet or your mobile phone was very expensive, but it is because whenever a bully takes what is yours from you fraudulently, your heart breaks and you feel sorry for yourself . Not considered safe.
In life, problems and conflicts keep coming and going, we should be fully prepared so that it is easy to deal with them. Like being mentally strong, improving stress management and adopting habits that are the habits of influential personalities.
Let us start the preparation of every work in advance so that there is no chaos in time. Before starting any work, we should think about its outcome so that we can understand where this work will lead us. We should keep a sequence of every work in life and try to do important and necessary work first. We should think in such a way that we also win and others also benefit.
To understand , first search and then understand it. Adapt to the people around you to live a
good life. Keep updating your skills according to life. When a problem arises, no other option should be resorted to for its solution than dialogue, because human beings have the ability to communicate , the value of which is very important to recognize.
Written by: Hafsa Shahid Clinical Psychologist
Views: Dr Sadaqat Ali