In Q, Dr. Sadaqat Ali is explaining in his own special way that what is the reason why people raise their fingers on second marriage ? Does the manner of doing an act affect its intention ?
In fact, no one can lay a finger on what is permissible . But any such work which is not done in a legitimate way, the finger must be raised on it. Second marriage is not such an illegal act, especially in Muslim society, where it is permitted by Sharia and legal terms, no finger is raised. Fingers are raised when procedures are being misused, or something is being done stealthily. Interestingly, some good deeds can be done by stealing, like Zakat or Kaffaar can be paid by stealing, but marriage is an act which, if done by stealing, is basically It doesn’t happen. When someone marries by stealing, he does not marry but steals, and he himself is a thief, and a thief is never treated well. Now he will have to pay for what he did. What do they say?
Building a house in the sun and then finding shade, placing feet in the swamp and then finding feet
If someone wants to get married again , he should first make up his mind and be completely clear about his ideals . And then he should share his ideas with his family. Generally second marriage is done by people whose first marriage fails. And without learning why the first marriage failed, they get married again.
Basic Purposes of Marriage
Allah Ta’ala placed this system of marriage in humans to create a regular system so that his world would continue to progress and the generation would continue . Second , when moments of intimacy are available, it fulfills each other’s biological needs . Third , you complement each other’s imperfections. If one earns, the other takes care of the house. Then they stay with each other giving advice and encouragement. But unfortunately people here think that getting married to do housework or some similar purpose will be fulfilled which is often not the case.
So when we don’t recognize these goals of marriage, for example, even in matters of intimate moments, our way of thinking in today’s modern age is that it is a very bad thing. And I don’t even understand why this bad thing is accepted. You see how much hypocrisy there is in the relationship between husband and wife and often because of this hypocrisy, the relationship between husband and wife is not good. And a husband and wife spend fifty years together and in these fifty years they threaten each other fifty times that I will not live with you or I will divorce you. And then when such a man marries by stealth, many fingers are pointed at him. That is why it is said that it happens like this and then in such works.
Written by: Hafsa Shahid Clinical Psychologist
Thoughts: Dr Sadaqat Ali